Synergy through Psychology!

“Every problem has a gift for you in its hands.”

~ Richard Bach

No matter how long the night the day is sure to come.

~ African proverb, Zaire

The wind does not break a tree that bends.

~ African Proverb, Sukuma

What you eat nourishes your body.

What you think nourishes your Spirit.

~ Dr. Akhu

Sara (of course this is not her real name) trudged into my office, balanced on the edge of her chair and tearfully confessed that she was feeling “overwhelmed.” Her hands were like restless birds going from her lap to land on the table only to take fight again so she could rummage in her purse as she talked about all the things causing her stress. Sara is in her early 20’s, has a nine-month-old daughter and lives with her fiancé. She goes to school full time and works weekends. Sara described feeling like there was never enough time in the day between school, studying, work, caring for her daughter and trying to keep a clean home. She was so upset that Joe (not his real name either) could not seem to get his dirty cloths in the hamper or the dirty diapers in the pail. She also noted that he may be doing less to help around the house because she picks at what he does and he said in a resent argument “why bother when no mater what I do it is never good enough for you.” It soon became clear that the real issue was that Sara was focused on the negatives instead of the positives. She saw the glass as half empty. My job was to help her shift her thinking so that she could see the glass as half full. Not to change what was in the glass. So as we continued to talk I asked questions and made suggestions that helped her make the sift. By the end of the session she was sitting back in her chair with hands that had found permanent perch in her lap. Sara’s eyes were dry as she spoke proudly of Joe who she admitted took great care of their daughter, was loving and supportive and had so many good qualities that outweighed his shortcomings. Armed with ideas about how she could make adjustments in her schedule, pick her battles wisely, and focus on the positive she glided out the door.

At our next session Sara was all smiles as she told me about the great week she had. Now, she gets her daughter ready in the morning while Joe gets set for the day. Joe takes the little one to daycare while Sara gets ready and has a bit of alone time. Joe still cant’ find the hamper or the pail but now Sara just grabs dirty socks and soiled diapers as she walks past. She said that tossing them where they belong takes a lot less time and energy than arguing. Sara is complaining less; Joe is doing more.  My one session therapy was a success. My work was done. If all of my patients had such straightforward problems I would soon need to become a full time writer.

Stress = Confusion created when one’s mind overrides the body’s basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

~ Anonymous

“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them more.” ~ Oscar Wilde

Working mothers get 3.2 fewer hours of sleep and 9.3 fewer hours of free time per week than stay-at-home moms, according to Dr. Bianchi. These research results are not surprising. Motherhood alone can be very stressful.  Add a job, subtract sleep and free time and that equals STRESS. Stress is the outcome unless you balance the equation with stress relievers. One of the best balancing tools is planning ahead. Getting organized saves time and reduces stress. Make a weeks worth of dinners on Sunday. Organize clothing into complete outfits including socks and underwear as you put away the clean laundry. Pack book bags and briefcases with all the essentials at night. Mothers who work outside the home may have less time but they can have just as much peace as stay at home moms if they use the time they have efficiently.

Bliss is a constant state of mind where one does not feel disturbed either by gain or by loss. ~Yogi Bhajan

After reading an article on anti-abortionist targeting the Title X Family Planning program established in the 1970, I reflected on the experiences of my patients. I estimate that close to half of my female patients has had at least one abortion in their lifetime. Processing the experience and morning the loss invariably became part of our work together, even when the woman did not have doubts about the decision. Guilt, grief, and fear that the choice to abort one child may negatively effect the ability to have children later are the most common issues for women who have had abortions. I would love to see agencies such as Planed Parenthood handing out literature that addresses after abortion emotional care along with the information about after abortion physical care.