Burnout or Boundaries? How to Tell the Difference When You're Tired of Everything

Earlier in my career, I hit a point where I felt completely drained. I loved the work I was doing—but every request felt like too much. Every task felt like a mountain. I wondered if I was burned out, but something told me to pause and look deeper.

What I discovered was this: I wasn’t burned out. I was boundary-less.

And there’s a difference.

Burnout can feel like exhaustion and detachment, but so can living without clear boundaries. The two are deeply connected—but not the same. If you’re not sure whether you’re just tired or truly burned out, learning to tell the difference is the first step to recovery.

Burnout vs. Boundary Issues

The World Health Organization defines burnout as a syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. Symptoms include energy depletion, increased mental distance from one’s job, and reduced professional efficacy (WHO, 2019).

Boundary issues, however, show up when we consistently say yes to things we don’t have capacity for—either out of guilt, fear, habit, or unclear expectations. Over time, this leads to the same symptoms as burnout, but the root cause is different.

Here’s how to tell the difference:

• If rest doesn’t help, you may be burned out.

• If rest helps but the exhaustion quickly returns when you're around certain people or in certain situations, boundary issues may be at play.

Tip 1: Track Your Energy Leaks

Why It Works: Identifying where your energy drains can help you determine whether you’re facing burnout or boundary erosion. Studies show that persistent emotional depletion is often linked to lack of psychological safety and autonomy (Maslach & Leiter, 2016).

How to Use It: Keep a daily log for one week. Note moments that leave you feeling tired, resentful, or overwhelmed. Look for patterns—what types of tasks, times of day, or people show up repeatedly?

Try This: Use your phone’s notes app or a simple paper journal to answer: Where did my energy go today? What gave me energy?

Tip 2: Set “Micro-Boundaries”

Why It Works: Boundaries don’t have to be big or dramatic. Small shifts—like turning off notifications or pausing before agreeing to a request—can protect your energy and reduce stress (Gottlieb, 2021).

How to Use It: Choose one area where you feel overextended. Set a small boundary like only checking email at set times or ending meetings 10 minutes early.

Try This: Write one clear sentence you can use when setting a micro-boundary. For example, “I’m at capacity right now but can revisit this next week.”

Tip 3: Build a Boundary Recovery Ritual

Why It Works: Recovering from chronic overextension requires more than saying no. It requires repair. Intentional rituals help reset your nervous system and rebuild depleted energy (Porges, 2017).

How to Use It: Design a short ritual you can do after a stressful boundary violation or an overly demanding day. This could be a warm bath, journaling session, or a walk with your phone on Do Not Disturb.

Try This: Set a recurring 15-minute block on your calendar labeled “Recovery.” Treat it like any other important appointment.

The Bottom Line

Sometimes what feels like burnout is actually the body’s response to chronic boundary violations. The good news? Boundaries are within our control. When we begin to notice what drains us and take small steps to protect our time and energy, we can start to feel more like ourselves again.

If you’re not sure whether you're burned out or boundary-less, start small. Notice your patterns. Choose one new boundary this week. Then, honor it—not just for others, but for yourself.

References

Gottlieb, L. (2021). Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Burnout: A Multidimensional Perspective. Taylor & Francis.

Porges, S. W. (2017). The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory: The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe. W. W. Norton & Company.

World Health Organization. (2019). Burn-out an occupational phenomenon: International Classification of Diseases.