Emotional Wellness Isn’t Optional: How to Check In with Yourself Before You Burn Out

A few months ago, I sat with a client who hadn’t cried in over a year. She was exhausted, snappy with her family, and no longer enjoying the things that used to light her up. "But I’m functioning," she insisted. "I’m getting it all done."

Functioning isn’t the same as thriving.

When we’re overwhelmed or in survival mode, our emotions often go underground. We suppress, distract, and compartmentalize in the name of getting through the day. But emotions don’t disappear. They wait. And eventually, they demand to be felt—often in the form of burnout.

That’s why emotional check-ins are a critical part of burnout prevention, especially for high achievers who are good at pushing through.

Why Emotional Check-Ins Matter

Ignoring emotions doesn’t make them go away. Suppressed emotions create internal tension that wears down the nervous system over time (Porges, 2011). In contrast, research shows that acknowledging emotions—without judgment—supports psychological flexibility and resilience (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010).

Checking in doesn’t mean falling apart. It means tuning in. It’s a form of emotional hygiene.

Tip 1: Ask Yourself “What’s Here Now?”

Why It Works: Naming emotions calms the amygdala, the brain’s alarm system, and re-engages your thinking brain (Lieberman et al., 2007).

How to Use It: Pause and ask yourself: What’s here right now? Sadness? Resentment? Relief? There’s no need to fix—just notice.

Try This: Set a daily alarm labeled “Check In” and jot down your emotion in a note app or journal.

Tip 2: Use the ‘Mood Meter’ to Expand Your Awareness

Why It Works: When we only identify emotions as “good” or “bad,” we miss nuances that help us understand ourselves. Emotional granularity improves coping and self-regulation (Barrett, 2017).

How to Use It: Try using tools like the Yale Mood Meter or Emotion Wheel. Pinpoint emotions more precisely—like overwhelmed vs. frustrated vs. irritable.

Try This: At the end of the day, choose three words that describe your emotional state. Track patterns over time.

Tip 3: Let Movement or Sound Help You Feel

Why It Works: Emotions live in the body. Shaking, dancing, humming, or sighing can help release emotional tension and support nervous system regulation (Nagoski & Nagoski, 2019).

How to Use It: Notice where you feel emotion in your body. Then use movement or vocalization to let it move through.

Try This: Put on a song that matches your mood and let yourself move for one full track.

Let Your Feelings Be Data, Not Detours

You don’t have to get stuck in every emotion. But you do need to let them speak.

Think of emotional check-ins as a way to collect data: How are you really doing? Where are you running low? What needs attention?

If you don’t ask, your body will tell you eventually. Why not listen sooner?

References

Barrett, L. F. (2017). How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. Clinical Psychology Review, 30(7), 865–878.

Lieberman, M. D., et al. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428.

Nagoski, E., & Nagoski, A. (2019). Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Ballantine Books.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. Norton.