The Link Between Emotional Labor & Burnout (and How to Protect Your Peace)

When Work Drains More Than Your Energy

A corporate client of mine, whom I’ll call Danielle (name changed for privacy), was an HR manager known for being the “go-to” person for workplace conflicts, emotional support, and team morale. But after years of absorbing others’ stress while keeping her own emotions in check, she hit a wall.

“I love helping people,” she told me, “but I feel like I’m running on empty. It’s not just the workload—it’s the emotional exhaustion.”

Danielle was experiencing burnout from emotional labor—the often invisible effort of managing emotions, both her own and others’. Many professionals, especially those in customer service, leadership, DEI roles, healthcare, education, and social services, carry this burden daily. If left unchecked, emotional labor can lead to chronic stress, fatigue, and even physical health issues.

Here’s how to recognize emotional labor’s impact and protect your well-being without sacrificing your empathy.

What Is Emotional Labor?

Coined by sociologist Arlie Hochschild (1983), emotional labor refers to the effort of regulating emotions to meet workplace expectations. Unlike physical labor, it’s intangible but just as exhausting. Examples include:

• Suppressing frustration to keep customers happy

• Mediating workplace conflicts while staying neutral

• Managing your own emotions to prevent “rocking the boat”

• Being the “emotional glue” for a team or family

Research shows that high emotional labor jobs correlate with increased stress, burnout, and mental health challenges (Grandey et al., 2015). The more you suppress or regulate emotions for the sake of work, the more it depletes your energy.

But the good news? There are ways to manage emotional labor without letting it consume you.

1) Identify Your Emotional Labor Triggers Danielle didn’t realize how much emotional labor she was carrying until she started tracking when and why she felt drained.

Why It Works:

• Studies show that naming stressors reduces their intensity, making them easier to manage (Lieberman et al., 2007).

• Identifying patterns helps you set boundaries and redistribute emotional weight.

How to Use It:

• Keep a weekly emotional labor log—note situations that leave you feeling depleted.

• Ask yourself: Am I carrying responsibilities that aren’t mine?

• Notice if certain people, tasks, or expectations drain you more than others.

Try This: For one week, rate your emotional exhaustion (1-10) at the end of each workday. Identify patterns and make adjustments.

2) Set Boundaries Around Emotional Energy

Danielle realized she was absorbing everyone’s problems without setting limits. She needed to protect her energy while still being a supportive leader.

Why It Works:

• Research shows that clear emotional boundaries reduce stress and prevent burnout (Brotheridge & Grandey, 2002).

• Setting limits preserves your mental bandwidth for things that truly matter.

How to Use It:

• Use scripted responses for emotional dumping, e.g., “I hear you. Have you thought about talking to [appropriate resource] about this?”

• Block “off-limits” times where work or emotional support is not available.

• Give yourself permission to say no without guilt—you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Try This: The next time someone offloads emotional stress on you unexpectedly, pause before responding and assess whether you have the capacity to engage. If not, redirect or reschedule.

3) Decompress with Emotional Decompression Techniques

Suppressing emotions all day takes a toll. Just like athletes cool down after intense physical exertion, you need a process to release emotional tension.

Why It Works:

• Research shows that processing emotions through movement, journaling, or creative expression prevents emotional burnout (Pennebaker, 1997).

• Engaging in self-expression helps regulate emotions and prevent stress accumulation (Gross, 2002).

How to Use It:

• Take five minutes after work to shake off stress physically—stretch, walk, or do deep breathing.

• Write in a journal for a mental and emotional release—even one sentence can help.

• Use a symbolic transition—light a candle, change clothes, or listen to music to shift from work to personal mode.

Try This: Before leaving work, take one deep breath for every stressful moment of the day. It’s a small ritual that helps reset your emotional state.

Protecting Your Peace Without Losing Your Impact

Danielle didn’t want to stop caring—she just needed healthier ways to manage emotional labor. By identifying her triggers, setting boundaries, and decompressing daily, she was able to show up for others without sacrificing herself.

If you’re constantly carrying the emotions of others, it’s time to take a step back. Your empathy is a strength, but it should never come at the cost of your well-being. How will you protect your peace today?

References

Brotheridge, C. M., & Grandey, A. A. (2002). Emotional labor and burnout: Comparing two perspectives of “people work.” Journal of Vocational Behavior, 60(1), 17-39.

Grandey, A. A., Diefendorff, J. M., & Rupp, D. E. (2015). Emotional labor: A conceptual and meta-analytic review of its effects on well-being. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 36(S1), S20-S28.

Gross, J. J. (2002). Emotion regulation: Affective, cognitive, and social consequences. Psychophysiology, 39(3), 281-291.

Hochschild, A. R. (1983). The managed heart: Commercialization of human feeling. University of California Press.

Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421-428.

Pennebaker, J. W. (1997). Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process. Psychological Science, 8(3), 162-166.