A Psychologist’s Guide to Starting a Mindfulness Practice That Actually Sticks

One of my clients once said, "I know mindfulness is supposed to help, but every time I try it, I just get more anxious." She’s not alone. So many people come to mindfulness with hope, only to leave feeling like they’ve failed—because they can’t sit still, or their mind won’t go quiet, or life keeps interrupting their best intentions.

But here’s the truth: mindfulness isn’t about being still or thoughtless. It’s about learning to pay attention—on purpose and with kindness—to what’s happening right now. And building a practice that works for you means throwing out the rulebook and starting with real life, not perfection.

The client I mentioned had a hectic household and a demanding job. Sitting still for 20 minutes each morning felt impossible. So we started small. She began by noticing her breath during red lights. A few weeks later, she added a moment of silence before meals. Eventually, she found herself seeking out stillness because it felt like a gift, not a chore.

That’s how habits grow: gently, imperfectly, and in ways that actually fit.

Try This:

1.) Start where you are

Instead of trying to overhaul your routine, find a moment that’s already happening. Showering? Brushing your teeth? Try tuning in fully to the sensations.

2.) Pick a trigger

Choose a simple cue to remind you to pause: a chime on your phone, walking through a doorway, pouring your coffee. Let that be your mindfulness nudge.

3.) Don’t wait for silence

Life is noisy. So try practicing presence in the noise—while folding laundry or listening to a child’s story. Mindfulness doesn’t need quiet, just curiosity.

4.) Be kind to your practice

Miss a day? Get distracted? That’s part of it. Every time you return, you’re strengthening the muscle of awareness.

Small, meaningful practices are how we make mindfulness last. Not by aiming to get it right, but by making it real.

[Client confidentiality respected: Any examples used are composites or shared with permission.]

References: 

Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life. Hyperion.

Shapiro, S. L., Astin, J. A., Bishop, S. R., & Cordova, M. (2005). Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction for Health Care Professionals: Results from a Randomized Trial. International Journal of Stress Management, 12(2), 164–176.

Carmody, J., & Baer, R. A. (2008). Relationships between mindfulness practice and levels of mindfulness, medical and psychological symptoms and well-being in a mindfulness-based stress reduction program. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 31(1), 23–33.

✨ If you’re ready to build a mindfulness practice that actually fits your life—not the life you wish you had—I have two self-study courses to support you on that journey.

👉 Choose the course that supports the kind of peace you want to create—inside yourself or around yourself.