Affirmations When You Don’t Believe Them (Yet)
Aug 27, 2025
Years ago, in the thick of postpartum exhaustion, marital tension, and a to-do list that could wrap around the moon, I tried to ground myself by repeating: "I am calm and in control." Spoiler: I was neither calm nor in control.
I remember muttering it while standing in my kitchen, surrounded by dishes, holding a crying baby, and wondering if I could get away with crying too. Saying that affirmation felt like wearing someone else’s shoes—cute, but uncomfortable.
But I kept saying it. I kept writing it. And slowly, like a seed that needed time and a little compost, it started to feel less like a lie and more like an invitation.
Why Resistance Happens (And Why That’s Normal)
The thing about affirmations is that they can feel aspirational to the point of absurdity. Especially if you're saying "I am thriving" while heating up Cup Noodles in your scrubs after a 12-hour shift.
Neuroscience backs this up: the brain resists statements that conflict too drastically with our current beliefs (Kappes & Oettingen, 2011). That resistance isn’t failure—it’s just a signal to soften the language.
Try This: Bridging the Belief Gap
1. Use Bridge Affirmations
Instead of jumping from "I feel like trash" to "I am radiant and divine," try something like: "I am learning to see my worth." It’s softer, gentler, and believable.
2. Anchor Affirmations in Emotion, Not Outcome
Say what you want to feel, not just what you want to achieve. "I choose peace today," hits differently than "I have it all figured out."
3. Pair with a Ritual
When you combine affirmations with breathwork, tapping, or even sipping tea, you’re creating a holistic experience. The body helps the mind believe what the voice is saying.
Closing Reflection
You don’t have to believe your affirmations completely for them to work. You just have to be willing to entertain them. Think of them as a spiritual flirtation with your future self. You’re not there yet, but you’re interested. And that’s enough. Want to go deeper? This blog series is inspired by Cultivating Inner Peace—and I’m building a companion workbook to guide your practice. Stay tuned.
References
Kappes, H. B., & Oettingen, G. (2011). Positive fantasies about idealized futures sap energy. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 47(4), 719–729.
