Crafting Affirmations That Actually Work

When I first tried affirmations, I felt like I was in a cheesy 90s infomercial. Picture this: I’m standing in the bathroom mirror, muttering, "I am radiant. I am powerful. I am magnetic."

Let’s just say my reflection looked unconvinced.

The problem wasn’t that affirmations don’t work—it was that I hadn’t figured out how to make them mine. Once I learned to craft affirmations that actually resonated with me, things changed. Not overnight, but gradually, they became like the low hum of a gospel choir behind me as I walked through hard days: steady, true, and full of Spirit.

Why Affirmations Fall Flat (and How to Fix Them)

Many people give up on affirmations because they feel fake. Saying "I love my body" while simultaneously dodging mirrors doesn’t feel authentic—because it isn’t. Your brain isn’t buying it, and frankly, your spirit isn’t either.

Research supports this. Studies have shown that affirmations are most effective when they align with your core values and feel believable enough to repeat without rolling your eyes (Creswell et al., 2005). The point isn't to lie to yourself. The point is to speak in a way that helps rewire your mindset over time.

Try This: Affirmations That Actually Land

1. Use Your Own Voice

If "I am a magnetic force of abundance and light" sounds like something your cousin says while selling crystals on TikTok, maybe skip that one. Try this instead: "I’m learning to see myself with more compassion." It should sound like you on your best day—not you trying to get into a wellness retreat.

2. Link to a Core Value

Start with something that matters to you. For example, if freedom is one of your top values, an affirmation like "I choose what I say yes to" will hit differently than "I am in control of everything."

3. Use "I Am" + Action

"I am becoming more patient." "I am practicing trust." These statements move you toward something, without demanding perfection today. You’re not declaring a finished product; you’re naming the path.

Affirmations are not about conjuring delusions. They’re about planting seeds. When chosen carefully, they nudge us back toward who we really are beneath the noise of criticism, comparison, and capitalism. If you want them to work, they need to sound like you and speak to your soul. Want to go deeper? This blog series is inspired by Cultivating Inner Peace—and I’m building a companion workbook to guide your practice. Stay tuned.

References

Creswell, J. D., Welch, W. T., Taylor, S. E., Sherman, D. K., Gruenewald, T. L., & Mann, T. (2005). Affirmation of personal values buffers neuroendocrine and psychological stress responses. Psychological Science, 16(11), 846–851.